From Dawn to Dusk... the journal (of the white horse) |
Thursday, August 23, 2001 * enough with the time bombs... Went to the dentist yesterday - for general checkup and teeth cleaning. Same ol', Same ol' - for the most part. Conversation went something like this: "Does that broken tooth give you any problem?" "No..." "No pain, no swelling, no low-grade fever?" "No..." "You know we've talked about this before, you really need to get it out. It's a time bomb sitting there..." "Yes, I know. I do want to get it out, but there doesn't ever seem to be a right time. Now would be good, but I've a daughter due a baby any time soon and ..." Silence. Me again: "I know. There probably won't ever be a good time... I'll try to make an appointment soon." "Time Bomb?" Good God! My whole body is a time bomb lately. My BC is a time bomb, now my broken tooth is a time bomb. Great!??**!! One day I'll just blow up and that'll be that... I can only focus on one thing at a time. Right now it's the new baby due soon. Everything else will have to take a back seat - and I do mean EVERYTHING! Life is funny. When you're very young, it's slow and boring (although I really can't recall ever being bored...); then when you're older, so much is happening that you can't keep up with it all. That's where I am. Thought that when I retired from working that there'd be time to do all the things I've wanted to do and all the things that needed to be done. WRONG! There are only so many hours in the day. What I can do and am ever grateful for is the ability to set my own schedule. Always hated fitting myself into someone else's schedule. This is probably a universal feeling. Most people (I would think) would prefer to set their own schedule and agenda. The best jobs probably know this and allow it to some degree. Anyway, now I can and am everlastingly thankful for this fact. |
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"... out of the night that covers me" (photo taken in Scotland) |
Invictus Out of the night that covers me Black as a Pit from pole to pole I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find me, unafraid It matters not how strait the gate How charged with punishments the scroll I am the master of my fate I am the Captain of my soul William Earnest Hemley |
Always liked that poem. Makes you feel strong... in control (to some degree). I'm not sure that "In the fell clutch of circumstance... I have not winced nor cried aloud... I've probably winced a lot! And I also do not find horror in the shade, but since I don't like to assume that I know what was in the Author's heart when he wrote these words, I still list this poem among my favorites. To me it speaks of Choice and Free Will and the fact that it's not what happens to us, but how we handle it that makes or breaks us. Rian |
