From Dawn to Dusk... the journal (of the white horse) |
Monday, August 27, 2001 * D-day...(again) Sorry I haven't written in the last few days. I actually did write on the 24th, but somehow (and I'll never know why) the entry didn't "save" and it disappeared into cyberspace... I probably should write these on my hard drive and then transfer, but it just seems like a lot of extra work - until something like this happens. Anyway, there wasn't anything really interesting going on to write about over the weekend, so I didn't. Today however, is D-day (again). We go for the 6 month CATSCAN, Chest X-ray, and Mammo this morning. Then they tell you if you're a "go" for the next 6 months... or not. Don't mean to sound cynical. I'm really very thankful for the Technology and advances in Science that have done such great things. It's just a different "mind set" that kicks in when you must be OK'ed to go another 6 months. The thought of not being OK'ed is hanging heavy over your head, but you throw it out every time it crops up - like an arrogant computer pop-up that refuses to be deleted. Can't eat anything but am allowed to drink black coffee. So I'm sitting here writing and drinking coffee. It's only 6:45. Have to be at the hospital for 9:00. The lost entry I wrote for Aug. 24 had to do with something I read regarding time. It spoke of the 'eternalness' of time... it doesn't go slow, it doesn't pass fast, it doesn't go at all. It simply is. Time is not a quantity. We have all the time in the world... It's always there. It doesn't change. The seasons change, the stars change, we change, but Time is constant. If we could keep this concept in mind that we'd actually see life differently. But it's a hard concept to keep up front. I know that as I get older, it seems like the days are flying by... faster and faster. But it's not the days, nor the weeks, nor the months. These are man-made concepts that we use to live by, but they aren't real. Man creates the clocks and the calendars. They do serve a purpose but they don't record the passage of time. They record our passage through time. It's probably just me, but I find this important... Have a good day! (remember you have all the time in the world and how you use it is your choice) Rian |
