From Dawn to Dusk... the journal |
Friday, February 22, 2002 * the courage of our convictions Just what does this mean? The dictionary says it is:"to act as one believes one should". Easy to say, but not so easy to do. I'm going through something now that is testing the courage of my convictions - and I do realize that having this doesn't necessarily mean that what you think is right actually is. So I've tried to go to Professional sources and check it out. I've even looked up as much as I can on the Internet, figuring the more I know about the subject, the better I should be able to understand it. Right? Sounds sensible, but sometimes these things don't follow common logic. There's too much emotion involved. I'm going to put it in simple terms that don't do it justice, but will at least get the idea across of what we're dealing with. Someone is bringing an elephant into our livingroom, and this elephant is causing destruction and making everyone living there uncomfortable (you do realize that the elephant is a behavior, right?). We've put up with it for years thinking that eventually the person responsible will be free of this beast - given the proper medication and supervision and - if we just give them enough time...and love. Well, recently it became apparent that this was not going to happen. On the last visit, the elephant caused enough trouble to make us realize that something had to be done. If the person who is responsible for bringing the elephant with them into our home can't come without it, then they simply can't come because the elephant is not welcome. We began to see that we were sending a message by not saying anything. By not saying anything, the person who is responsible for bringing the elephant believes that it's OK, it's acceptable, because everyone seems to know that it can't be helped. This is just the way it has to be. NOT!!! If it truly has to be (and my sources say it doesn't) then we will accept it in appropriate places - the elephant's keeper's home and in a suitable environment where proper authorities can monitor the elephant. And if it shows up at our home by accident, it will be asked that it be taken elsewhere immediately. The sad thing is that we love the keeper and their family and realize that this action on our part hurts them. My heart tells me an action can't be right if it hurts someone. What about the "do no harm" theory? But my head and the Professionals say that the elephant is doing more harm and is so potentially dangerous that it's important to set up personal barriers. We were also told that this is where our part in this ends. We set up personal barriers and let the person/s responsible know our feelings... and that's it. There's no more we can do. The choices are not ours from that point on. And we have to accept this. grumble...grumble...grumble Rian If any of the persons involved are reading this, my analogy may offend you, but it's one that was used to explain things to me - and it did help me see. |
