From Dawn to Dusk... the journal |
one woman's journey a day at a time "to touch the cup with eager lips and taste not drain it" |
grow old along with me the best is yet to be... |
fishing at last! |
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Sunday July 28, 2002 * life goals? Some psychologist was talking on TV the other day about getting your life organized and keeping it 'on track' as it were. She was very interesting. Even though what she said wasn't anything new, it was simple and made sense. I like that. One of the things she said was that a mother is meant to be a 'teacher' - not a friend, not someone to make life easier - but a teacher! (Remember I'm paraphrasing) She must teach her children what they need to know to get by - physically, spiritually, and emotionally. And once she teaches them how to do it, she must stand back and let them do it for themselves. She must quit doing it for them. And this is hard! I definitely agree with this. Otherwise you cease to become a mother, and become a maid, a slave, or an enabler - someone to use when needed, someone to blame because something didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. Not that all of us (definitely me) haven't been enablers in some ways and want to feel needed in others, but basically, I see the point. If when all is said and done and the child has become an adult and a friend, than that's wonderful. But I can see where being a mother is more important than being a friend. And let me mention one other thing here - respect and trust. This is what you must give to get. And it isn't automatic, it's earned... This too is hard! One mother when asked why she made her children's beds when they were old enough and physically able to make them themselves said: "because I've always done it." Not a good answer... but probably a very honest one. We all become parents without any training except what our own upbringing taught us and what our hearts tell us. When it comes right down to it, it's a wonder we do as well as we do. The other thing that was brought up was "life goals". This may not be as fascinating to the young as it could be to us older foggies (sp?) ... but the way it was presented was with the question; "If you didn't have much time remaining in this life, is there anything you would have liked to have done (not HUGE things, but little personal goals) that you would regret not having done? If so, write these down (just 2 or 3 things that you would really like to do before you leave this earth), keep this list with you at all times and put it where you can see it. If you have too many things to do on a particular day, then look at the list and determine if that particular thing will help you in any way to accomplish one of your life goals. If not, take it off of today's list. If it can help in any way, keep it on. Might work...?? Well, enough food for thought. It's almost 6pm and time for REAL FOOD. Going to close now. Thanks for all the good wishes for Mama. She's doing fine. Hope you had a nice weekend. Rian |
