From Dawn to Dusk...
the journal (of the white horse)
Tuesday, July 31, 2001
* last entry for old archive...
My old archive is really getting too full. Takes too long to upload. Going to work on a new one that is simpler and will contain a separate list for "journal entries" and another one for "other stuff". So since today is the end of July, it's probably a good place to make the break. However, I will put the old dates on the new archive so it will be totally freestanding. Then I'll delete the old one somewhere down the road.
When I was walking my "freedom walk" this morning... (I know that J.B. calls it the "Medicine walk" and it is medicinal - but when I first retired and started walking every morning, it was definitely my "freedom walk". All I could think of was that I was finally free to walk every morning and as long as I wanted to. When I was working, it was always a matter of if I hurry I can get a walk in before work..)
Anyway, when I was walking this morning I was thinking about all the things I still wanted to do - learn to sketch and paint well (don't believe you have to be especially talented** to do this, as long as you have the passion and persistence ), take more photography classes - learn more about digital everything, write more stories, etc. - maybe even start marketing some.
Then I thought, "Why?" Why do I feel the need to do these things? They're pastimes, yes? Trivial pursuits? Things that don't produce an income? So, if they are not productive in the financial sense, are they a waste of time? Some people think so. And sometimes this causes me a bit of guilt - spending time writing when I should be spending more time working around the house, being more social, etc.
But these trivial things fill a need in me that's too deep to explain. I guess if these pursuits were financially lucrative, others would be placated and the time spent considered time well spent. I don't know.
** explanation needed here - about the especially talented comment : reads a little like talent isn't important. Certainly didn't mean that. Talent gives you the "cut above" - a gift which one can choose to work with or not. And in some ways, it makes it easier as it comes almost naturally. It isn't by any means what some of us will ever achieve - even with passion and persistence. But we can savor accomplishment to some degree in it's place.
I personally believe that God/or whatever Force you choose to name wants me to do this - in fact, is pushing me to do this. Maybe because He/She/It is the "Creative Force" behind everything and to join in the creative process is a good thing? Who knows? These words are just feeling their way through my thoughts...
Going to close now as I took some photos this morning and want to see how they came out. If interesting, I'll post them tomorrow.
Sharon Hartdegen (Rian)
