Wednesday, June 5, 2002 * Winging it... That's what I named the site in Diaryland. But thinking about it, it's pretty appropo as to what most of us do to get through life. We 'wing it'. I read somewhere once that if you don't know how to do something, fake it until you do. I'm not sure about that. It may get you through, but something about it makes me a bit uncomfortable... although I have to admit, this is how I learned 'computering'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now back to the thread that I started yesterday - vivid memories involving water. These are not in order of priority or date - as some of the dates I've lost tract of over the years and priority can be rather subjective. The first that pops to mind is that DH proposed to me on the banks of the Mississippi River. Occasionally to get away from our studies (we were both living on campus at the time), we'd take a bus to downtown, eat at a Piccadilly Cafeteria, then walk down by the river. Now the Mississippi is not a particularly beautiful river, it's muddy and the banks are usually soupy and covered in driftwood, etc. It's not unusual to lose a shoe or two trying to keep from sinking too far into that muddy riverbank. But it was 'our place' then ... and of course, always will be. Next is probably the time I stood on a pier on the Gulf Coast and watched a storm come in. It was during a difficult time for me where I was confused and wanting to make a change and wasn't sure what step to take next. But standing on that pier and feeling the wind blow around me, the fog came in and 'cleared' my head - reshifted all my priorities and the answer was there. Another time was on another pier at a Silent Retreat on a Texas lake. This was a strange one. I like to sit on the pier early as the sun rises and just blank everything out. This particular morning it was cold and windy (a cold front had blown in overnight) and I had actually thought twice about going out. But a quote posted on the retreat bulletin board by the door caught my eye. It said, "God will speak to you on the water..." (or something very direct like that). However it was said, it got me out there. While I was sitting and letting the sunrise warm my face (the wind was icy), I "heard" (don't know how to explain this, as I didn't hear it from outside, but from inside) this conversation. "You must take the next step." "But I'm afraid." "I know..." (The wind was blowing so strong at my back that I thought it was going to blow me off the pier.) I thought, "You could distroy me" "I know. If I push too hard I will, but you must take the next step." " I know ... and I will, but it may be a tiny step." Now I realize that this conversation was more than likely my Higher Self speaking to my normal self... but the fact that I didn't expect it or anticipate the subject... but understood the meaning without question surprised and uplifted me. Now, before anyone thinks that this person is just too weird, I'd better close for the day... There is more... but we'll save it for another time. Rian |
From Dawn to Dusk... the journal |
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one woman's journey a day at a time "to touch the cup with eager lips and taste not drain it" |
grow old along with me the best is yet to be... |
