From Dawn to Dusk... the journal |
Wednesday, March 20, 2002 * First day of Spring? For the first day of Spring, we had a tiny bit of sunshine in the afternoon... the rest was a washout with rain and wind. Tomorrow is the last of the doctors - the Vampire Oncologist. He'll want blood, an exam, and a talk. One of the things he always asks me is: "How do you feel your health is?" Sometimes I wonder if he asks this just to see what my psychological attitude is... I tell him: "My health is excellent... I eat right, exercise, and despite the diagnosis, surgery, radiation, and occasional concern, I'm really fine." We once talked about life expectancy. He hinted that mine was probably as good as his. We're about the same age. I thought this was nice and reassuring of him. But I'm aware that the first 5 years is a milestone... and that there are never any guarantees. Could be 5, could be 25, could be more... and you must live like there are no deadlines. But once you're branded with the big "C", the awareness of it is always there - hidden for the most part, but there. I've come to a certain understanding with it. I don't fight it. I accept it. It's a part of me. It's become blended in with everything else and we cohabitat OK. Enough. Spring is here and Easter is right around the corner. The redbuds are budding and despite the fact that it's suppose to freeze again tonight, Spring is still here! Rian |
