From Dawn to Dusk... the journal |
Tuesday, March 26, 2002 * a time to observe... Have been wanting to get back into my Yoga classes for some time now. Started practicing Yoga in 1997 or 98 to help the Arthritis in my spine (cervical area)... Discovered that not only did it help my spine, but that the stretching involved was beneficial in eliminating lower back pain and even some of my headaches... and the meditation part was wonderfully relaxing - taking you back to the quiet centering of your being. But after a few attempts to return post surgically in 2001, I gave up - practicing it only at home and non-routinely. The problem being that my arms no longer had enough strength to hold the positions warranted. Granted everyone works at their own pace, but after 3 years of being able to do most everything - I was very limber (except the ones done upside down - I had never reached the confidence level that my arms and neck would hold up the rest of my body, but I was working on it). Now that I'm stronger (It's been 18 months), it's time to get back on track. And I'm ashamed to admit that I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll never be able to do what I use to do. Stupid fear. My mind tells me that it's dumb to feel that way. But my heart still cringes when I think about trying and failing. I mean we all know that as time goes by, we will not be able to do the things we once did. It's a fact. But knowing it doesn't make it any easier to accept (and how will I know if I don't try - shouldn't we push the limits?). I miss it so. So today I'm going to go in and observe from the sidelines. See if it will renew the old spark - or depress me. Wish me luck. Rian |
